I Didn't Know Fatherhood Would Feel Like This

I didn't know fatherhood would feel like this.

When I first became a father at 28, I thought it was about responsibility.

Providing for the family.

Paying the bills.

Making sure everyone was okay.

And yes, it is all of those things.

But nobody told me about the other parts.

The way I would look at my children and see time moving.

The way a simple hug could make a difficult day feel lighter.

The way I would worry about things I never worried about before.

Nobody told me that my heart would be walking around outside my body.

Fatherhood is strange that way.

Some days, it feels exhausting.

Some days, it feels overwhelming.

And some days, it feels like I'm making it up as I go.

But then there are moments.

A random dose of "I love you."

A drawing brought home from school.

A hand reaching for mine.

A voice calling, "Daddy."

And somehow, those small moments become the biggest ones.

I don't know if I'm the perfect father.

I don't know if I'm doing everything right.

But I know this.

Being a father has been one of the greatest privileges of my life.

And to my children—

thank you for making me a father.

Okay papa.

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